Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
