Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
