Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
