babies were throwing up all over the place
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize