what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
