what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
