I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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