That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
