I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
