i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
