i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
