Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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