Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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