You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
