the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
