what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
