I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
