sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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