You work out of a Hotel?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
