Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
