dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
