We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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