I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
