Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
