Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
