Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
home. puking in laundry basket.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
