Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
