I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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