I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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