Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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