just come out here and I will go home with you...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
