Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
