She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
