So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
