I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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