there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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