I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
