Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
