I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
