When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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