Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
