You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
