North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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