I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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