Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
