Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Found your dick twin last night
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
