So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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