You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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