Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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