Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
