You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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