i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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