Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
