dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
