my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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