I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
