we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
