I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
