she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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