I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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