i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
