you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
