is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i've created a new STD.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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